I am Jack's smirking revenge.

January 2008

This month reminds me of my futile protest days of college. You know, back in '89 and '90, when the Spring Ritual at Hunter College involved taking over the East Building to protest budget cuts and tuition hikes. We acted like idiots, sure, but we acted like idiots together.

Fast forward to January 2008: everyone was thick in the shit, making a difference, and getting things done. Such esprit du corps. Dungeon Master showed that there probably was not a little man in his head controlling his every move with robotic precision; Grouchy Partner laughed regularly and lighted the fuck up.

I worked like a crazy person. When I wasn't saving clients from certain death through my amazing and creative lawyer, I was saving them by finding mystery files in former associates' offices and swooping in to save them from certain default.

It wasn't all wonderful. Dungeon Master stated to the Hubbins in early December that we needed him to give me up for like 2 weeks so we could right the ship. He promised that plans were in place to land us safely by the end of the year. He said that we need all the families to dig in and that we were in it together and we all will survive. He said I was one of the lucky ones -- they could afford to pay me a salary but it would be significantly less than I had been earning. But it was all short term anyway, just until the ship was righted. Two weeks, end of the year.

And six weeks later, we were still digging in and we were no closer to berthing the damn ship. Don't get me wrong, we had 2 offers to berth by year-end. But Dungeon Master and Grouchy Partner vacillated between moving to one or the other firm, and staying on our own, on a daily basis for another six weeks before deciding (in the last week of February) to move to one of the firms. During that time and still to this day, I heard an awful lot about what the Dungeon Master "promised" the Hubbins.*

One silver lining in all of this -- my client got sued and the adversary sought a prejudgment remedy. We had four days of hearings on the PJR application in January and ran up beaucoup fees. Why is this a silver lining? Because my deal while working with The Boys on our own was that I would be paid a huge percentage of money I brought in the door. So while I did not receive this payout until several months later, I helped me catch-up on bills.

Bronze lining -- through the PJR I discovered a new nemesis. Nasty adversary revelled in the fact that at our first hearing I had no malpractice insurance and could not defend. Instead of acting like a human, he treated me like the firm sent the receptionist over to defend against his dear perfection. I'm sure he thinks he is an enlightened liberal-minded alpha male, but this misogynist shit must be crushed. And luckily for me, he is a partner in a firm where another nemesis works.

When their time comes -- and come it will -- they can both be crushed at once. I don't dare dream that I can be the crusher. That would be.....bliss, but it is unlikely to come to fruition. But in their reptile brains, at that sweet moment of crushing, as they wonder what in their lives brought them to that inevitable point, I hope they remember me.

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** If you employ me, never but never make promises to the Hubbins. I realize that I may be out when you call and you may be so enthusiastic about the content you wish to convey that you just want to explode. But, really, don't discuss the terms of my employment with the Hubbins. He works in a different world, where people are generally held to their statements. This is not to suggest that your statements were untrue - you believed them to be true when you stated them. But the Hubbins expects them to be true true. You have the right to remain silent when talking to the police. I suggest you exercise it.